This article is not meant to be legal advice, always contact a professional.
Greetings from Nancy Poland and Grace’s Message. Take a few minutes to listen to my audio recording with Kevin Price on September 20, 2024, “Caregivers Need to be Prepared in the Digital Age,” I tell a fictional story about Tom who belated discovered his parents did not have any legal documents in place when his mother died. He ran into roadblocks when he tried to access financial and health care documents. Tom’s dad was alive but was exhibiting signs of dementia. Tom walked into a caregiving hornet’s nest!
What could Tom have done to ease the path of caregiving?
This article is a deeper dive into avoiding a caregiving crisis.
Legal Documents
As his dad was still alive, Tom needed a power of attorney document to access bank records. Every state law differs in the U.S., and if you are in another country, your laws will be unique to your citizens. It is imperative to have the correct documents for your loved one’s jurisdiction.
Tom learned he could have helped his parents prepare the following:
Durable Power of Attorney – Tom’s parents could have executed this document allowing Tom to be their agent acting on their behalf to manage finances, legal needs, property, etc. in an emergency. They trusted their son Tom, knowing that giving him this right would be a good decision. After his mom died, when Tom went to the bank, they could not help him until his dad executed a power of attorney form for their joint accounts.
Living Will/Advanced Directive – Tom’s parents would have learned this legally binding document would inform the doctors about their medical care preference including resuscitation, feeding tubes, or medication administration. His parents could have named Tom, and a backup, to make medical choices on their behalf. Because Tom’s mom died suddenly this document was not needed, however Tom found out he could not get medical information for his dad. The delay in getting this executed by his dad could have been disastrous.
Fortunately, Tom’s dad was deemed to be of sound mind by the attorney. Otherwise, Tom would have found himself spending thousands of dollars in court to get an appointed guardian (which may or may not have been him.)
Will
The will takes over after a person passes away. While state laws differ, failure to have a will means the estate will go into probate. A third party may be chosen by a judge to manage one’s property, finances, and possessions. That person could also decide what happens to minor children. Tom would need this, as well as the death certificate, to access anything left by his mom.
How to Complete Legal Documents
You may be able to download the power of attorney documents from your state website, complete them, and get them notarized. You could also prepare a will from automated programs; however, I recommend you get legal help, especially if there are complexities involved. An elder law attorney is a good choice for seniors.
Woes of the Digital Age
Tom quickly developed an appreciation for the complexity of the digital age. His mom paid bills through the bank website, had payments taken directly out of the bank account for utilities and insurance, and had their credit card stored on websites for automatic payments. Tom barely knew where to start, but armed with his power of attorney document, he found help from the bank and credit care companies.
The digital age can make our lives easier, but it can massively complicate life for caregivers and heirs. It is more important than ever to communicate with your aging loved ones about their estate.
Thank you. Visit me at www.gracesmessage.com for more caregiving resources, including a free downloadable “Important Documents Checklist,” that will help you find your loved one’s documents. And while you are at it – take these critical steps for yourself.
Nancy R Poland, Grace’s Message
With grace and hope, Nancy Poland provides written and spoken communication on caregiving, loss, and other valuable topics. She owns what she calls a “micro-business” named “Grace’s Message,” however she has many years of experience in the business world.
In December 2022, Nancy retired from NMDP (previously National Marrow Donor Program/Be The Match) after nearly 28 years of employment. She most recently worked as a Contracts and Compliance Manager and spent over 18 years in management as a people-leader. Nancy has a Bachelor of Arts in social work and a Master of Arts in Health and Human Services Administration. She has authored two books on caregiving, issues a quarterly newsletter, and offers both in-person and virtual presentations.
A life-long resident of the Twin Cities in Minnesota, Nancy and her husband John raised two sons and continue to contribute to their communities, travel, and work on solving British detective shows.
As a working caregiver, Nancy encountered dilemmas such as the following, with no good choices.
- The phone rings, an ambulance is bringing her mom to the hospital (again). Does Nancy stay at work for the rest of the training session, or should she race to meet the ambulance and mom at the hospital?
- Dad is in the care home, in the later stages of dementia. The only day they schedule monthly family conferences is Thursday, no later than 2:30. Should Nancy take a half day off work, leave work and come back, or dial in, and miss out on a face-to-face conversation.
Working caregivers struggle with job obligations, caring for their loved one, and often other family responsibilities. The one they are caring for may be a child with special needs, an aging relative, or an unexpectedly injured spouse. None of us know when we will be called upon to care for another, and trying to balance each facet of life can be a recipe for disaster. When a caregiver has a crisis, it affects not only the ones involved, but also the company.
Studies show caregivers often have increased absenteeism or reduced performance while at work. They often need to cut down work hours or quit. As this is especially true for caregivers of older adults with significant care needs, for this talk I will focus on ways companies and caregivers can partner together to address the ever-increasing needs of caregivers for our aging population.
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