As women, discovering our intrinsic value and worth necessitates introspection rather than external validation. Understanding and embracing our self-worth is crucial, as it establishes the standards by which we expect others to treat us. It reflects our self-perception and dictates our expectations from others. Cultivating a strong sense of self-worth not only enhances personal growth but also empowers us to demand respect and equitable treatment in all aspects of life.
The saying goes, “Behind every great man is a woman.” Recently, it’s been adapted to, “Behind every great woman is a woman.” I propose a further change: “Behind every great woman is herself.” For a woman to achieve greatness, she must first recognize and cultivate it within herself.
Finding the courage to pursue and achieve greatness has been a challenging journey for women, burdened by cultural expectations, upbringing, and stereotypes about their intelligence and strength. I grew up in a time when women thought too much ambition could hinder their chances of marriage, and being single was seen as a terrible fate, often leading to labels like spinster or lesbian. Looking back, those labels seem far from terrible. I didn’t marry the man of my dreams until two days before my 45th birthday, but before that, people questioned my single status as if it were a disease. Despite being divorced for two decades, people often show more interest in my singleness than in my successful business.
Women often face a harsh inner critic, telling them they are inferior to men or less attractive than others. They struggle with body and hair image, are labeled as “bitchy” for being ambitious, and are often seen as affirmative action hires in the workplace. The cultural challenges of being a brown woman intensify the inner critic’s voice. Every little girl dreams of a life beyond her childhood, eager to shape her own future.
Women are the modern-day David in a world full of Goliaths—but without the slingshot. And even when they master the slingshot, the world has cleverly hidden the rocks. Our mission is now clear: forge new communities and arm ourselves for the fight ahead. The most powerful weapons we wield lie within us.
To become an exceptional woman, you must develop a resilience to withstand life’s challenges. Recognize when your inner critic, shaped by childhood experiences, begins to influence your adult life. Equip yourself with strategies to silence this negative voice. Reimagine yourself beyond the world’s perceptions, and embrace your true potential.
Easier said than done, right? So, how do you conquer this monumental challenge? Start by recognizing that you were worthy from the moment you existed. Your worthiness was never something you had to earn in the eyes of the Higher Being. This realization may require meditation, prayer, or the guidance of a coach or therapist. Once you grasp your inherent worth, you can dismantle the stereotypes because you’ll know they’re false. Then, you can set your sights on your loftiest goals, unimpeded by anyone. You’ll build a community of men and women who appreciate you for who you truly are, and whom you regard as equals. Only then will Goliath shrink in size, and you won’t need any stones to silence the negative voices that tried to hold you back in the first place.
Embark on the powerful journey of self-realization with the cornerstone of self-love. Embrace yourself genuinely, without vanity, to become the formidable force behind your identity and aspirations. The world’s noise—misogyny, racism, or the incessant chatter in your mind—may never fully silence. Yet, you possess the power to quiet it enough to unleash your true, authentic self and thrive.
Joia Jefferson Nuri, PCC, is certified by the International Coaching Federation (ICF) as an Executive Leadership and Public Speaking Coach. She uses positive psychology to help clients overcome self-doubt and unlock their true potential. Specializing in guiding both individuals and organizations, Joia moves them from their ‘zone of excellence to their zone of genius’™, breaking through self-imposed limits to achieve their highest vision.
She coaches, speaks on panels, and contributes to the nationally syndicated radio show, The Price of Business. She also hosts the podcast “Unshackled Leadership: A Lantern for Black Women.”
Joia has written Ivy League commencement speeches and 14 TEDx Talks. For over a decade, she crafted human rights communications strategies for prominent figures like Harry Belafonte and Danny Glover, affording her the opportunity to work throughout the US, Europe, Africa and South America. She shattered barriers in network television news, becoming the first Black woman to command the role of Technical Director for CBS Evening News and Face The Nation.
Website: https://inthepubliceyecoaching.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joiajeffersonnuri/
