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I Want What She’s Got

Reading Time: 4 minutes

by Marianne Clyde

Have you ever been in a restaurant and looked around at the trays the waiters are bringing to the tables? Sometimes I do that to see if I want what someone else is having. I can be pretty impressionable with food! I think most people can…ooo that pizza looks good…wow, look at the size of that steak, gee, that pile of roasted veggies looks really healthy, right?

I think most people do that.

Well, we also look at others without even thinking we are doing it and think what a jerk, or wow look how sweet that couple is together, or aww what a cute family, or wow, she looks so confident or beautiful or amazing! We are always watching and observing. Remember the scene from “When Harry Met Sally?” The one where Harry didn’t believe Sally could imitate an orgasm convincingly. Then she did! Right there in the restaurant! What did the lady in the next booth say? “I’ll have what she’s having.” Sally was pretty convincing.

Have you ever looked at someone else and thought, “I want what she has.” I want her grace, her poise, her leadership qualities, her way with people, etc. or I’m sure glad I’m not her, or some other negative response.

The point is, there are always people watching, observing. We are all leaders in some sense, whether we are a CEO of a company, a leader in the community, or a mom or grandma. You are a leader somewhere.

So here are a few habits that are helpful to embrace to let your strength, your grace, your control and your inspiration and your wisdom to shine through and be remembered well.

The habit of gratitude: Surrounding yourself and filling yourself with good energy and positive emotion is a good way to keep your energy up. Studies show that practices like gratitude and meditation actually can change your brain. You have the seeds of love, joy, peace, creativity and abundance inside of you.

What you water grows.

But many times, we focus on what we don’t have. Or we focus on a problem and we allow the frustration to pull us down.

Remember that what you focus on increases, so creating habits that fill your tank, like gratitude, generosity, forgiveness, will make you more resilient and magnetic.

The habit of personal awareness: You absolutely must learn to love yourself first; you need to care for yourself first and you need to trust yourself first.

If you don’t learn to maintain a healthy and positive outlook, and respect how you feel, and adjust it when necessary, it’s impossible to maintain the kind of energy you need to create a magnetic life, attracting all the good stuff you want.

You can’t truly be fully available for anyone else and respect others unless you are fully available to yourself and respect yourself. You need to be able to be aware of your emotions, what causes them and in what way you tend to be reactive.

If you practice taking a breath and examining how you feel, it gives you a moment to detach and think clearly and understand that you have a choice in how you respond.  And it gives you an opportunity to switch to a more positive emotion if you find yourself down or frustrated or lethargic.

While you can’t always control your environment, you can always control your attitude and response to a situation, but it takes awareness and attention. And practice.

The habit of being generous: Be generous with your praise, with your time, with your attention, your wisdom, your thoughtfulness, as well as your money. Be generous with your eye contact and your smile.

Let your attention be so focused on the person in front of you that they feel like they are the only one in your world, whether it’s for a moment or two or for an evening. Leave people feeling special and valued. They will remember you for that.

The habit of keeping your word: Nothing can derail a relationship fast that the inability to keep your promises. Whether it’s to return a phone call, meet a deadline, or make an introduction for someone.

People remember your words, and your words have power. Let those words build trust instead of doubt and uncertainty. People work with and remember people they trust. Make sure your “follow through” is intact.

No matter what your position is or what your goals are, people are watching and learning and possibly emulating you. Let them remember you with fondness and awe. Let them see that you are making the world a better place just by your presence.


Marianne coaches women leaders to kick it up a notch, think bigger, increase their impact and their income.

For 35 years she has been helping clients live more productive and abundant lives. As an award winning businessperson and psychotherapist, best selling author and speaker, Marianne has built multiple businesses, learning to adapt and adjust as circumstances changed over time. She is a MindValley Certified Hypnotherapist, trained by Paul McKenna. In 2016, she founded the Be the Change Foundation, a non-profit organization that trains and equips women to be entrepreneurs so they, like her, can live their dreams.

Marianne’s books help free readers from destructive thought patterns while learning tools to change them. They include:

Peaceful Parenting: 10 Essential Principles (2013)-

UnLeashed: Practical Steps to Get Your Life Unstuck, (2017)-

Zentivity: How to Eliminate Chaos, Stress and Discontent in Your Workplace (2018)-


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