Foster Kinship Care – A Solution for Kids in Crisis

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Surprise – you are going to have a baby! Maybe you have heard these words, and if not, you likely know someone who became a parent unexpectedly.

My husband and I had an unplanned child, but not in the way you might think. My husband was sixty-five, retired and I was in my late fifties. We lived in independent senior housing at the time. Of course we were done raising children – it was not even biologically possible for me to give birth again. Yet we became surprise parents via the foster care system. When the county asked us if they could drop off a four-year-old child we knew well my husband readily agreed, and our seven-month journey as foster parents began.

Our application process included taking classes, background checks, and multiple meetings with social workers and other county personnel. They interviewed us and went through out house to ensure it was safe. We were paid a stipend to help with expenses. While not required we attended seven court hearings, as we felt the child needed a voice. It was difficult, there was trauma, but there was also joy. We never regretted the opportunity. At the end of seven months, he was placed with family members.

Foster care is necessary when the biological parents are unable to care for the child. Childwelfare.gov reports there are over 391,000 children and youth in foster care. There are also many children waiting for a home. Foster care families have both long-term children placed in their home, but there are also short-term placements. During the seven months he stayed with us, our foster son spent two weekends with a part-time foster care family who only took children in for two or three days at a time.

Many people who become foster parents are loving, knowledgeable, and committed to helping children. Yet, problems exist in the system, and some homes are not appropriate for raising children. In any case, removing a child from a home and placing him or her with people they do not know is traumatic. What is one proposed solution? “Kinship Care,” the raising of children by grandparents, other extended family members, or adults with whom the child has a close family-like relationship (this was our situation.) We were willing to take him in, partially so he would not go to an unknown family.

In 2023, Sixto Cancel, a former foster care child, gave a Ted talk called A Foster Care System Where Everyone Has a Loving Home.  He promotes kindship care and is the founder and CEO of Think of Us, a nonprofit working to transform the child welfare system in the United States. Sixto Cancel reports the poor life outcome of children who enter foster care. There is the human toll cost, and the cost to society when children become adults unable to become productive citizens in society. He has created Think of Us to promote and advocate for kinship care.

I have a friend whom I shall call Brittany who was unable to have children. Brittany and her husband learned about a young girl on her husband’s side of the family who was in a troubled situation. They became foster parents, and while it was hard, they raised her through adolescence, and now she is a successful college student.

If the opportunity arises, would you consider kinship care? Yes, it is hard. It can be discouraging. The situation may not work out, and your heart could just be broken when the child is placed elsewhere by the court. However, there can also be fun and rewarding times. We went to the zoo and museums. Our extended family embraced him, and people in our senior building adored having a child around. They even had a good-bye party for him when he left.

If you get that call, choose to make a difference in the life of a child.

I plan to write further articles on this topic. I welcome your input or stories on kinship foster care, or other foster care and subsequent adoptions. You can view my articles at this link of Price of Business.

Thank you.